Monday, November 9, 2015

David Vitter is Sorry For Banging Skanky Hookers...... Can He Be Louisiana Governor Now?

Louisiana Sen. David Vitter (R-Brothel) want so much to get out of the bore of Washington DC and become the High Governor of the Great State of Louisiana, and be closer to the brothels state he loves sooo much.  It’s been a while since family values poster boy has addressed the scurrilous accusations that he was a loyal customer of Whorehouse Madams, because by gosh, that was so long ago, and God and Mrs. Vitter have forgiven him, SO MOVE ON. And his campaign for governor has done a good job of getting reporters who dare to ask him about that fired for their journalistic impropriety, allegedly.

But the Vitter campaign has had a change of heart, so Louisiana, our wannabe Governor has new ad, which he is obviously using to troll all of us, because the damned thing is called ....and no, I'm not making this up..... "Hard Times."

(Note: It only took the Vitter campaign a few hours to realize its poor choice of wording and change the name of the ad to “Difficult Times.”)
"Fifteen years ago, I failed my family, but found forgiveness and love. I learned that our falls aren’t what define us, but rather, how we get up, accept responsibility, and earn redemption. You know me. I’m a fighter. And as your governor, I’ll get up every day to fight for you. For a much better, stronger Louisiana." 
It’s funny that Vitter thinks Louisiana is in deep doo, since our current Republican governor Bobby Jindal keeps insisting he’s done a real bang-up job of cleaning up the joint, by, for example, shutting down the charity hospital system, and then refusing expanded Medicaid funding, leaving hundred of thousands of poor Louisiana citizens without affordable health care that was supported and funded by every Governor since it's inception over 200 years ago.

The Vitter campaign’s decision to vaguely address and dismiss that Hard Time Vitter broke the law, and the vows of his marriage by humping Freaky Canal Street Brothel Ladies of the Evening might have something to do with the not-even-remotely subtle ad released last week by his rival, John Bel Edwards, which not only goes there, but then drives another 100 miles past there, refills the gas tank, and keeps on going.
Vitter’s campaign had already denied recent allegations that the staunch “pro-lifer” had knocked up his mistress and dumped her like an adult dookie when she refused to abort his love child. So it would be irresponsible for us to speculate that the “forgiveness and love” Vitter found, after undermining the sanctity of his traditional marriage, includes keeping some ‘tang on the side and then asking said ‘tang to murder his unborn baby.

Polling shows Vitter is expected to have his diapered ass handed to him on Nov. 21.