Friday, June 20, 2014
ISIS Advances in World Cup Tournament
(MFNS) RIO-The soccer world was shaken today as the team from ISIS (Islamic State in Iraq and Syria) overwhelming defeated heavily favored North Korea in the most chilling and sound defeat of the 2014 tourney.
Quickly down 2 to 0, Isis' Syrian born Belzal-el-Rosheed, better known as "The Assassin" went to work on the hapless Korean team and scored 3 unanswered goals to take the win. The coach of the NORK team lodged protest of two of the goals, claiming human heads kicked it into the net do not count as legal scores. The protest was quickly overturned by visibly shaken referees.
This win for ISIS sets up a much anticipated and highly explosive eye-to-eye match with the rival Iraqi Al Qaeda Team set for this weekend.
Update: The entire North Korean Soccer team has refused to return to Pyongyang and has ask for consideration of political asylum anywhere by anyone.