Friday, December 7, 2012

Obama Creates New Atmospheric Agency

With Fridays announcement of improvement in jobless numbers attributed to Hurricane Sandy, President Obama has announced the formation of a new NASA task force (National Atmospheric Preparedness for Incidental Economics) or NAPIE, charged with learning how to fabricate tropical weather patterns. "We'll create jobs to make the hurricanes and then create more to clean them up," he said. "It's win-win for the American people." 

Liberal East Coast politicians were said to initially balk at the idea until a White House promise of massive federal aid packages (including emergency golf course repair) and skillfully staged photo opportunities during the Commander and Chief's visit to the devastation (vacation schedule permitting) after cleanup begins. 

One Southern Gulf Coast Governor was quoted as saying "He can send the money but save the trip down, we ain't kissing his +$?#@&* ass for a picture. Shiiiiit! Besides, if the Feds are involved in making it work, we really got nothing to worry about."

Work is to begin admittedly to prepare for a highly anticipated early devastating hurricane season and unemployment figures dropping into the 7.6 to 7.5 range
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