TO STRANGLE A PUPPY FOR EACH BROKEN TAX PLEDGE
Middle Finger News Service
Anti-tax crusader Grover Norquist today denies he is angry with Republicans who have turned against his no-tax pledge, insisting they are free to do whatever they want, including choose the color and breed of each puppy he intends to strangle for every lawmaker who breaks the oath. Since Sunday, several of the 280 members of Congress who signed Norquist’s Taxpayer Protection Pledge have retracted their vows, citing a need for compromise in looming fiscal cliff negotiations. Surprisingly Norquist, known for ruthlessly going after tax proponents, said he understands. He just doesn’t know if the puppies will.
“I’m not angry or upset or worried,” said Norquist as he stroked the fur of ‘Ginger,’ an adorable, 6-week-old cocker spaniel. “For the sake of this cute little fella right here, I’m hoping that in the end, our national leaders do the right thing.”