Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Commander and Chief Orders New Pants

Of all the 45 million pages of documents and hundreds of hours of historic conversations recorded during the years of the Presidency of LBJ archived in his Presidential Library in Austin Texas, one audio clip has become a classic among presidential archive fans and one of the most listened to in the library.


On August 9, 1964, at the height of a re-election campagin, President Lyndon Baines Johnson decided that he needed some new pants, so he got on the horn and called the Haggar Clothing Co. based in Dallas, Texas, and ordered himself up a new set. After a short interruption of another call, LBJ continues in his colorful, home-spun style and in vivid language to explain his need for special consideration of certain anatomical areas, and hilariously belches right in the middle.

Here’s a worthwhile animation of the call by Tawd Dorenfeld.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Obama Legacy Continues to Build

Erectile Dysfunction Bandits Strike West Side Chicago

Chicago - Two "older men" with highly dangerous handguns robbed a West Side Chicago medical clinic, getting away with “56 Viagra pills worth $1700″ as well as a small amout of muscle relaxants, pain killers and codeine-laced cough syrup, valued at $400. Witnesses said that the men appeared to be in their late 50s. 


One of the bandits was wearing a Tasmanian Devil t-shirt which may, according to DMF medical experts, indicate a link between watching too many cartoons and difficulty sustaining an erection. 

I ask, readers of DMF, do you find that your childhood entertainment options have impaired your sexual function later in life? Or enhanced it? Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny?  

The men also grabbed a $1,500 laptop suitable for on-line porn viewing, $65 in cash from an employee’s wallet and made sure they had all the Viagra.

We like that Dorothy Tucker, the reporter for the Chicago CBS station, added this:
"The owners of the pharmacy said the men gave no indication if they would use the Viagra themselves or sell it on the street for a profit."
It’s nice that Ms. Tucker give them the benefit of the doubt like that.

Note: You may want to consider commenting on this story without the name of the drug, since that’s a pretty good bet to send your post to the spam filter.

A ‘Surrender To a Lawless President’

NRO

Senator Jeff Sessions (R., Ala.) denounced the House Republican border bill as a “surrender to a lawless president” because the legislation does not include any language to prevent President Obama from expanding his unilateral legalization of illegal immigrants.

From the Statement:
"The Obama Administration has openly declared its plan to implement a unilateral executive amnesty for 5–6 million more illegal immigrants. This unlawful amnesty—urged on by congressional Democrats—would include work permits, taking jobs directly from millions of struggling American citizens.
Any action Congress might consider to address the current border crisis would be futile should the President go forward with these lawless actions...."
That the House leaders’ border package includes no language on executive actions is surrender to a lawless President. And it is a submission to the subordination of congressional power...."
Nor will this package make our rogue President actively enforce anything, coming nowhere close to the kinds of reasonable enforcement activities needed to restore the interior application of our immigration laws...."
READ THE ENTIRE STATEMENT HERE 

Monday, July 28, 2014

Little Dictator Threatens to Nuke O's House

Norks Once Again Rattling the Swords

The North Korean Regime, fresh from a triumphant win at the World Cup and the recent success in taking over as the Leader of the World Rap Music industry, have becoming restless after being pushed off the world stage by on-going events in the Middle East have once again have become belligerent. 

Top-ranking North Korean military officials have threatened to nuke the White House and Pentagon after accusing Washington of raising military tensions on the Korean peninsula. 

The threat came from Hwang Pyong-So, director of the military's General Political Bureau, during a speech to a large military rally in Pyongyang Sunday on the anniversary of the armistice that ended the 1950-53 Korean War.

Hwang said in his speech broadcast Monday on state television:
"If the US imperialists threaten our sovereignty and survival... our troops will fire our nuclear-armed rockets at the White House and the Pentagon -- the sources of all evil.


There has been no comment yet from the golf course.....

Immigration, and Executive Orders:

"Congress can overturn an executive order. It can overturn parts of an executive order. If the executive order is based on a statute, Congress can change the statute, thereby nullifying the order. Congress can also refuse to fund activities stemming from all or part of the executive order. ...
In addition, a targeted move to overturn an executive order on immigration -- an order which could, according to some reports, involve the president unilaterally granting legal status to a large portion of the estimated 11 million immigrants in the country illegally -- would put some red-state Democrats in a tough position with the November midterms approaching. Lawmakers who would find it easy to reject the extreme option of impeaching the president might have a more difficult time defending an executive order that many of their constituents oppose.
Obama is, by many accounts, preparing to 'go big' on immigration. If so, his actions will clearly encroach on Congress' constitutional authority. With Democrats sitting on the sidelines, Republicans have to be ready to respond -- without going around the bend on impeachment."— Byron York, The Washington Examiner

A Good Monday Morning

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Zero Demands An “Unconditional" Cease-Fire

The Hill
"President Obama and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu spoke by phone on Sunday as a ceasefire with Hamas broke apart. Negotiations to extend a 12-hour truce broke down over the weekend. Israel says it offered to extend the ceasefire for another 24 hours, only to see new rocket fire from Gaza. Israel then resumed its own military actions in Gaza.
"Hamas has broken five cease-fires that we accepted," Netanyahu said on Fox News Sunday. "They rejected all of them, violated all of them, including two humanitarian cease-fires in the last 24 hours."
The Israel Defense Forces said 28 rockets have been fired from Gaza into Israel on Sunday. Two more rockets were intercepted by the Iron Dome missiles defense system, the IDF said.  

Middle Finger Theater Presents: 2 Min. Conspiracy Theory

The Secret Link Between Sputnik, Rush Limbaugh and Jane Fonda

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...