Saturday, January 7, 2017

Middle Finger Symphony Theater

* No Tuxedos Required *

Brought to You By BLUESJUNKY: Chair of Music and Middle Finger Symphony Music Director

Friday, January 6, 2017

US Intelligence Offers Prove The Russians Hacked Our Election Minus The Proof


For weeks Obama and the democrats have been crying that Russia hacked our presidential election to help Donald Trump win. They have cited a classified US Intelligence report as proof that Russian president Vladimir Putin ordered his spies to influence the election. Well, that report was sort of declassified today and it is underwhelming to say the least. It has everything except actually proof of anything.

According to The Hill, Vlad Putin ordered a widespread influence campaign intended to help elect Donald Trump, the Intelligence Community (IC) said in a declassified report released Friday afternoon.
"Russia’s goals were to undermine public faith in the U.S. democratic process, denigrate Secretary [Hillary] Clinton, and harm her electability and potential presidency."
"We also assess Putin and the Russian Government aspired to help President-elect Trump’s election chances when possible by discrediting Secretary Clinton and publicly contrasting her unfavorably to him."
Discrediting Hillary Clinton? That’s kind of like putting effort into showing Barack Obama is a liar. And while democrats are squealing with delight over this report, it comes with a caveat:
"While the conclusions in the report are all reflected in the classified assessment, the declassified report does not and cannot include the full supporting information, including specific intelligence and sources and methods..."
In other words, if there is any proof, you can’t see it and just have to take their word that it exists. And even if you believe this report that is completely missing the proof it claims to contain, what you are left with is the ridiculous idea that Putin risked friendly relations with the US and possibly war to show the American people that Hillary Clinton is an unlikable shithead. We already knew that.

[The Hill]                                                   Thank You MJA for the Linkage
[NYT] 
[Downtrend]

Thursday, January 5, 2017

A Gift of Appreciation From America.......

Lizzy Warren Introduces Bill to Try and Screw Trump's Wealthy Cabinet Picks Right In The...........


So, this is how it's going to be for the next four years, huh Senator Liz? Time spent on senseless legislation, time taken away from the business of the country like stopping people from invading our borders, ridding the streets of criminals, improving our schools and creating jobs. All so you guys can play games and get you some face time on the Sunday talk Shows?

It's bad enough the dems look like petulant children led by Minority Leader Chuck Schumer talkin’ all big about how Senate Democrats are going to screw Donald Trump in his *** over his Supreme Court nominee. But now Lizzy and some of her Senate pals including Dianne Feinstein, have introduced some silly new legislation to try and screw over all of Trump’s rich cabinet nominees.
"Senate Democrats … introduced legislation on Tuesday that would place a $1 million limit on the amount of capital gains Trump or his nominees could defer paying taxes on. Warren argued the move would block Trump’s Cabinet from getting “another special favor.” 
“Not only is Donald Trump giving a gang of billionaires control of our government, he’s offering them a special tax break just for signing up,” she said.
Sounds familiar don't it. So here's the deal:
Remember that thing about how Trump’s cabinet picks have combined net worth greater than a half a dozen African nations put together? (insert anti-capitalist SJW yells) Uh huh, they are rich. And when cabinet members are picked, they tend to have to sell whatever assets they have that could cause conflicts of interest. People who have ONE BILLION ASSETS have a lot of stuff to sell, and they usually stick the proceeds in Treasury Bonds or mutual funds or whatever are considered OK for them to have, by ethical standards.

As the Washington Post helpfully explains, there is a law “designed to help ease the sting of being forced to suddenly sell investments,” that lets all these new appointed officials defer having to pay taxes on the capital gains they suddenly have, from selling all their sexy stocks in Walmart or Boeing etc.  They still owe the taxes down the road, let’s say, if they sell the Treasury Bonds they stuck their capital gains moneys in, but if they just keep their many moneys where they are, then it's TAX FREE!  The law seems to make sense, even for normal rich people who weren't planning to sell all their investments right then and there. 

But OH NOES! These wealthy congress critters like Senator Lizzy , who I might remind you wrote most and agreed to the ethics rules as well as the tax laws that keep their rich donors rich as to suck coin from them every election cycle, decide now The Donald's cabinet picks are way too rich! And they mustn't have the legal tax breaks anyone else would receive.

Well I guess it's good for laugh on the right side of the isle, the bill will never see the light. But it does sends a limp wristed message that they might be in the minority, but they’re going to do everything in their power to be as much of a pain in the ass to the Trump administration as they possibly can.

The more things change the more they remain the same. And just as 'The Weasel of the Senate', Harry Reid failed to learn when Barky Obama handed the congress over to the Republicans, the 115th addition of congressional democrats will have to learn the hard way: DON’T START NO SHIT WON’T BE NO SHIT.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Hood Rats and Wealthy Elites Alike Will Gather for One Last "Let's Black It All Up in Here" House Party

Our Fair Lady: South-Side Chicago Hairdo and Leftover Upholstery Scrap Designer Gown  

There will be lots of A-lister hanging at the White House in the next few days, but they won't be there for the Trump Inauguration.  No, it's one last bash with the King and Queen, their rich contributors and low-life friends to feast and nasty up the hallowed halls of The Peoples House. The Obamas themselves confirmed during an interview with People Magazine a while back that they’d have one final adult bash at the White House before looting packing their bags. 
"Typically the Obama administration keeps a tight lid on celebration details until the 11th hour. But the big names thought to be on the guest list have been slowly trickling out this week. Old standbys such as singer Usher and actor Samuel L. Jackson will most likely be there, according to another person with knowledge of the invitees. Also currently practicing their sweet moves are media titan Oprah Winfrey, who snagged an exit interview with the first lady last month on her fellow invitee and bestie Gayle King’s network CBS." 
Also in attendance will be the first lady's favorite female roll model for young people, BeyoncĂ©, who sang at both of Obama’s inaugurations, and her husband, ghetto thug rapper Jay Z. We also read that Stevie Wonder, who has performed at the White House will be there. Yo Stevie, over here!

I also predict to be on the guest list are Barky's friends from Black Lives Matter, DeRay Mckesson and Brittany Packnet, regular visitors to the White House, most of the black reporters in the lapdog media, and numerous members of the Congressional Caucus of Black Folks. And really, what would a party be without the right Rev. Al Sharpton!

I guess we can't really fault them for one last hoorah. After all, because of the national embarrassment of Barky and Mooshell, it's gonna be a long time before we see the likes of them in the WH again. And after Jan 20th, most all in attendees will consider The Peoples House as enemy territory.

Let's just hope someone had the foresight to take an inventory before the Obamas moved in back in 2009. 

[People Mag]
[WaPo]

Bill & Hillary Decide to Attend Trump Inauguration

Photographers Will Be Salivating Over This Photo Opportunity. 

You just know there are going to be some awkward and uncomfortable looks on someone's face on January 20th.  And every photographer within a quarter of a mile will have a lens trained on Hillary Clinton as the Oath of Office is administered to Donald Trump.

CNN has reported former President Bill Clinton and Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton have decided to attend President-elect Donald Trump's inauguration. To me, it's good to finally see a democrat these days have a moment of lucidity and decide to act like an adult for a change. That, or Bill talked Hillary into attending hoping she strokes out or goes stark raving mad afterwards and he can finally be rid of the shrieking witch.

My fear was that something crazy would happen on the 20th, like Hillary taking a peaceful walk alone in the woods of Chappaqua during the inauguration ceremony and be mauled by a wild bunch of angry woodchucks or something and dominate the news cycle for the next two days. But now, my fears have been laid to rest. That is, if Hillary doesn't come unglued and stands on her chair, tearing at her clothes and yelling "the Russians rigged the Election!" Remember who we're dealing with here.  


Meanwhile, former President George W. Bush's office stated he and former first lady Laura Bush will also attend "and  are pleased to be able to witness the peaceful transfer of power", the last according some of our friends on the left.   Previously, Jimmy Earl Carter was the only former commander in chief who had publicly said he would attend Trump's inauguration. With Jimmy's dictator pals Hugo and Fidel dead now, he really hasn't anything to do anyway. 

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Barky To Say Farewell - Unveil Mock-up of Library

"Since George Washington, U.S. presidents have often delivered a final address to the American people as a way to share both their reflections on their time in office and their outlook on the future of our country. As his time in office comes to a close, President Obama will return to Chicago to deliver his Farewell Address on the evening of January 10, 2017."
Besides expertly glossing over his abject failure as a leader, on the occasion of the President's speech will be the unveiling of a mock up of his soon to be built massive Presidential Library in his home town.
"The same streets where a young community organizer once inspired his community to take action will serve as the home base for a foundation that will organize and inspire people of all backgrounds and beliefs to better their communities, their country and their world." 
Middle Finger News was given a sneak peek of the proposed entrance to the hallowed halls of The Obama Presidential Library (pictured below) to be on display to the public after the speech.
Our own intrepid MFNS reporter Earl of Taint early in 2015 submitted his own design to the Presidential Library Conceptual Design Contest. We wait eagerly to see if Earl will be honored with his design acceptance. If so, Earl will personally be on-site to oversee the massive complex construction of Library, Amusement Park and Progressive Friendly "George Michael Memorial Public Restroom" facilities.
Thank You MJA and Doug Ross Journal for  the Linkage 

Monday, January 2, 2017

Sunday, January 1, 2017

We Be All FAB 50 Up In Here!

Six years ago Doug  Ross@Doug Ross Journal temporarily loss touch with reality and awarded a small part-time blog, only in 6th month of publication with the FAB 50 "Elihu Smails Award for Up-and-Coming Snark Blog" of 2010.  This unexpected honor gave me the encouragement and incentive to continue this little project on a more regular basis

This year Mr. Ross has again seen fit to recognize the now notorious Diogenes Middle Finger, along with my fellow Bloggers from The People's Cube and HopeNchange Cartoons as 'The Fab 50 Best Satirical Blogs' of 2016.  I'm Honored and Flattered to even be considered in the same category with such talented and established Bloggers.

"Every year at this time we are pleased to announce the winners of the Fabulous 50 Blog Awards recognizing the year's 50 most important blogs and websites in the conservative world. There are no judges. No debates. No voting. No nominations. Just facts. Immutable truths, chiseled in stone and then forged in molten steel on the Anvil of Zeus for posterity. No prize carries more panache, more prestige, or more raw sex appeal than a Fabulous 50 Award, save something you might find in the dumpster behind Denny's."
Congratulations to all the winners. And Thank You Doug Ross. You helped create this little monster.  And some on the internet are not pleased!



You can see all of this years winners HERE.