Monday, August 29, 2011

Rick Perry is Honored by NYT Elitist Jerk.

The New York Times expert on just about everything and leading nominee for Diogenes' 2011 Asshat of the Year, Paul Krugman, has chosen to honor Governor Rick Perry by including him in one of his nutty left-wing NYT elitist attack jobs...... 

 "Mr. Perry, the governor of Texas, recently made headlines by dismissing evolution as “just a theory,” one that has “got some gaps in it” — an observation that will come as news to the vast majority of biologists. But what really got peoples’ attention was what he said about climate change: “I think there are a substantial number of scientists who have manipulated data so that they will have dollars rolling into their projects. And I think we are seeing almost weekly, or even daily, scientists are coming forward and questioning the original idea that man-made global warming is what is causing the climate to change.”
That’s a remarkable statement — or maybe the right adjective is “vile.”
". . . And the deepening anti-intellectualism of the political right, both within and beyond the G.O.P., extends far beyond the issue of climate change."
 "And the deepening anti-intellectualism of the political right, both within and beyond the G.O.P., extends far beyond the issue of climate change."
Read the entire Krugman tripe if you can @ NYT
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Sunday, August 28, 2011

Picture of the Week.

Joe Biden. The Gift That Keeps on Giving. 
 
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Friday, August 26, 2011

Finally, a Bright Spot in Obama's Economy

While makers of cars, computers, the retail sector and practically everything else saw their fortunes plunge last week, in a  rare bright spot in an otherwise gloomy period for Wall Street, manufacturers of downward arrows posted record profits this week.  
  
Producers of downward arrows notched double-digit gains, inspiring investors to snap up their shares like never before.  Companies like National Plunging Arrow Corp. and Consolidated Downward Pointy Lines saw their shares rocket as investors rushed to participate in the suddenly red-hot red-arrow sector.
 

“We are seeing investors move out of Treasuries and Gold and into downward-arrow stocks,” said analyst Farley Boomster, who covers plunging trend-line manufacturers for Morgan Stanley. “At a time when the world is facing extreme uncertainty, the one thing we know for sure is that going forward there will be strong demand for downward pointy things.”

But the euphoria surrounding the plunging arrow sector may be short-lived, as some analysts caution that that investors’ mania for downward arrow stocks may be a bubble, with others warning that downward arrows are increasingly being manufactured in China, where the arrows are mass-produced using far cheaper labor.
 
 
 For his part, though, Morgan Stanley’s  Boomster sees a silver lining in such gloomy forecasts: “Even if people wind up losing billions of dollars investing in downward arrows, you know what? There’s only one way to show that.”

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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Report: Queen Michelle has Spent $10m Taxpayer Dollars on Vacations Alone in the Past Year

Robbie Cooper's take on the Frequent Flyer First Lady over at UrbanGrounds.com 

 "So much for the shared sacrifice and all that other bull shit that has been pouring out of the mouth of King Barrack Slayer of Growth™.


"This is the same woman who thinks that Air Force 2 and Marine 2 as the family mini-van. The same woman who took a separate plan to Martha’s Vineyard for their family vacation, instead of hopping on the same plane that her husband was on. Because she wanted to get their 4 freak’n hours earlier than her hubby."

 $10m in luxury vacations in just one year by Michelle. And the year’s not even over yet."


Read the story here. 
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Sunday, August 21, 2011

S & P Downgrades MSNBC Host's IQ

Nominee for Diogenes' 2011 Asshat of the Year


In light of resent idiotic statements, Standard and Poor’s took the unprecedented action today of downgrading media personality Special Ed Schultz IQ. While the effects of such an extraordinary measure are hard to predict, experts say the IQ downgrade could result in Schultz having difficulty completing sentences, operating a television remote and excessive drooling.

 Ed and Edith Schultz 
Insiders at MSNBC, the unruly little bastard brother of the once respected NBC News, says Schlutz recent psychotic outbursts and rambling diatribes against anyone on the right is in some part his attempt to remain ahead of the networks newest ratings sensation, the always eloquent cultural pundit and International Geopolitical expert, Al Sharpton. At this writing, they seem to be in a heated race to the bottom of the cable ratings. 

Schultz's twin sister Edith Schultz Hayes, wife of Marvin Ashcott Hayes, the heir to the Tampon fortune told Diogenes the family all think Ed is "very special", but fear he may come unglued right there on the air. "Eddy and I grew up poor" she said, and that Ed was sometime forced to wear Edith's clothes. "That and eating his boogers kinda made Ed a little twisted, ya know."


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Friday, August 19, 2011

Let's Get Ready to Rumble - Rick Perry Edition

In a previous post 'Let's Get Ready to Rumble - 2012' 
I included the unannounced candidate, Gov. Rick Perry of Texas. As of that writing, he was said to be undecided. Well, last weekend Perry declared his candidacy and was, as expected, leaped on by weasels in the the media. Now we are swamped with critical articles about Perry and backward Texans, by people who knew very little about the state or its governor until a few days ago.

Having grown up in the Great State of Texas and now living in a neighboring state, I have observed Perry's career as Governor, as I did with the Arkansas Clown with the pants problem, Bill Clinton.
   
So, my friend Publius Minimus and I will now analyze the effectiveness of these media criticisms, and once we're  finished you shouldn't need to read any more articles about Perry (unless I write them, of course). 

CRITICISM:
PERRY IS A MORON  
Perry scored mediocre exam results (a D in Shakespeare, a D in economics, a C in American history) did not graduate FROM YALE OR HARVARD; a propensity for wearing cowboy boots; Texas accent; grew up on a farm.

*This strategy was used against Ronald Reagan (amiable dunce) and failed; Yale grad Bush, Jr. was also characterized as an imbecile, and served two terms. Why? Because labeling as fools politicians who embody (whether truthfully or not) the aspirations and ideals of vast swathes of the population alienates the very people “liberals” (20% of the electorate) most need to win over to their side. It’s pathological, not strategic. As governor of Texas, Perry has a strong economic record, and this, in most people's minds will be more important than some exams he took forty years ago; which leads us directly to… 

CRITICISM: 
THE TEXAS ECONOMIC MIRACLE IS A MYTH 
Perry's most powerful argument for his candidacy is Texas's record of job creation- 37% of all jobs created in the United States since June 2009 were created in the state. Perry argues this is a result of sound economic management, low taxes, minimal regulation, tort reform, etc. To which Democrats and media talking heads reply: Texas is just lucky, it has oil, the military, and most of those jobs are minimum wage anyway. Plus, you’ve still got high unemployment. 

*Iran is awash with oil and soldiers but it is not very successful economically. Obviously policies play a part, otherwise California, blessed with abundant natural wealth, beautiful weather and the 8th largest economy on the globe, would not be teetering on the verge of bankruptcy and experiencing a mass exodus of its population…into Texas. The comments about minimum wage jobs smack of an elitist disconnect from reality as these days just about any job is a toehold on the ladder up. Nor are they true: since the recession started, hourly wages in Texas have increased at the sixth fastest rate in the US. Texas unemployment is still high, but lower than the national average, and Obama is on very weak ground indeed when he talks about job creation. 


CRITICISM: 
PERRY IS A RELIGIOUS NUT/HATES ABORTION/GAYS, ETC.
Perry held a big prayer rally in Houston at the start of August – creepy! He talks about Jesus – what a nut! He’s against gay marriage…. probably hates Muslims, too.

*Perry’s religiousness and social conservatism is something he shares with many millions of Americans, so see the problem with Criticism #1 above. His stance on gay marriage is the same as Obama’s. I vaguely recall that Perry once received complaints from Buddhists who were upset when he said they won’t go to heaven when they die. Some reporters will have fun with that if they can be bothered to dig it up. At the end of the day, when one in five people in the country are on food stamps and the economy smells like a vast sinkhole filled with rotten fish, only ideologues care about these issues.

Thus, we're not persuaded that these early lines of attack will prove very effective against Perry, who has never lost an election. Unless the governor fails to adapt his Texan “screw you” style of campaigning to the national level, or is revealed as a cannibal, he will prove a strong candidate. 

The key thing to know about Rick Perry is that in Texas, nobody loves him very much, not even Republicans, and yet he always trounces his opponents. That translates to one thing; he has skill. 

...and unlike Barack Obama, he has a Brass Pair! 
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Educational Crash Course #35

Another Installment of Diogenes'
Public Service Educational Series: 

History of the World: Slightly Abridged


Next in Series: Career Advancement
with Keith Olbermann


CLASS DISMISSED!
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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Obama Says He'll Work on that Job Plan Thing When He Gets Back From Vacation…

"On his 938th day in office President Obama also said he would soon have a completed jobs plan. Maybe early fall, something like that. And he complained, "We could do even more if Congress is willing to get in the game."
L.A.Times
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