Saturday, August 28, 2010

Toilet Paper for Everybody!

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
August 28, 2010


Well, the much touted “Summer of Recovery” is coming to an end.  And quite a summer it’s been.

I think this goes without saying, but because I can, I'll say it anyway; this government is fat, bloated, bureaucratic, clueless and out of touch, expensive, unresponsive, and packed to the gills with the worst kind of tax evading career politicians that probably couldn’t pass an entry-level Civil Service exam.

 We now have a government  that couldn’t  order toilet paper without 100 hours of Congressional debate (so that even the “I bought me a seat with daddy’s money”  back-benchers can get 30 seconds of face time on TV), a battle royale between the talking heads of each party, complete with a demonization of both sides by their opponents, six or so teleprompter speeches  by “The Chosen One” on how AIG wrecked the toilet paper market, and the New Department of Anal Cleansing Instruments Czar empowered to make up regulations that affect your  person hygiene without  Congressional debate or approval  and  defend you against Big Charmin.


I can see it now; Keith Olbermann having  an on-air aneurysm over the plight of those who can't afford the two-ply and have to make do with the thin single-sheet that very quickly disintegrates and become embarrassing and uncomfortable, and  is outraged it’s not  to be covered under ObamaCare.

And by the time it's all over, the Government will have worked out some new law that promises "free" TP to every filthy tushy in America...by 2021...and requires a tax on "The Rich", a class now defined as anyone who has at least 30-cents and a bottlecap in his pocket (Naturally, Congress will exempt itself from the TP tax). By the time the government actually purchases the TP from the mill in Congressman X's district, which happens to be the company in Which Senator Y Owns Substantial Stock, they will have underestimated the real need by at least half, and paid three times the going rate. And they would have stuff even worse than the One-Ply Wonder, and which probably scratched like sandpaper, and give half the people who used it tumors.

And don't be at all shocked when the government decides it has the right and responsibility to feed your children whatever it deems appropriate. You should know that the obvious reason why kids are fat is beyond the mental capacity of the typical government bureaucrat to comprehend; it is because they sit around all day playing video games and screwing around on Facebook and YouTube. Maybe if our government employees in the Education Dept. would stop meddling in the school systems, and schools would quit teaching them how to engage in sex, and hire a gym teacher, they wouldn't be so round, and we wouldn't need an expensive new tax payer funded "program" to feed kids rotten vegetables at gourmet prices.

So, it should come as no surprise that the people who brought you the Fannie and Freddie debacle, the Mortgage Bailout Program which Failed Spectacularly, who have recklessly spent billions of tax payer dollars ensuring that complete deadbeats can keep a house paid for by someone else's money long after they should have, and which devastated residential neighborhoods with an explosion of foreclosures, should suddenly decide that it knows everything about, and the money to spend, planning the healthy child and their brave new world.

So, when I read that the government can't count, and the people they hired to count for them are a bunch of crooks, I'm not surprised. And when we observe that the President of the United States is basically out of step with two thirds of the country, but still takes a victory lap for something he hasn't done, or worse, for something he's screwed up even more, I'm not surprised.

For me, November can't come soon enough!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Speaker Pelosi Calls for Investigation of Ground Zero Mosque Opposition.

Posted by Thought Criminal #49158 
August 18. 2010

This Should Erase any Doubt About the Need for the Present Congressional Leadership to Be Voted Out of Power! 

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"There is no question there is a concerted effort to make this a political issue by some. And I join those who have called for looking into how ... this opposition to the mosque is being funded." - Nancy Pelosi
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Funded? Is there always a diabolical conspiracy when someone disagrees with you?


 I find it extremely ironic that lefties, after attacking the Exercise of Religion of some groups in the courts for the last 50 years, have all of a sudden discovered the Constitutional protections guaranteed therein. 
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Build the mosque where you wish, it's your right. Just don't give America the middle finger doing it and expect us to not speak up! 

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Labor Department Announces Reduction in Vice Presidents Hours

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
August 05,2010



Due to continuing bad economic numbers, slow growth in the job market, forecast of weak growth in the private sector during the coming year and a Vice President that stumbles through the darkness with an unlighted candle,  the U.S. Labor Secretary  announced yesterday a cut in Vice President Joe Biden's hours.


But late Friday,  Biden was spotted eagerly greeting customers at the entrance of the Wal-mart in his home town of  Dover Delaware where he has taken a part-time job.

Local media are quoted as reporting Biden was overheard trying to discuss foreign policy with an irritated and impatient elderly woman who just stopped to ask him where she could find the dishwashing detergent and anti-flatulent products.  Biden told a local  reporter he is proud of his service to the people of Delaware, representing them in Washington, and this part-time job at Wal-mart is no different. "Hey, this is a big f**king deal for ol' Joe, know what I'm  saying?"  the Vice President was heard whispering to the store manager, Kling Phree.


Sunday, August 1, 2010

Was There Really Ever Any Doubt?

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
August 2, 2010

FBI Releases FOIA File on Liberal Favorite Howard Zinn, Reveals He Lied About Being a Member of Soviet-Controlled CPUSA…


The prominent "progressive" historian Howard Zinn, whose books are force-fed to young people on many college campuses, was not only a member of the Moscow-controlled and Soviet-funded Communist Party USA (CPUSA) but lied about it, according to an FBI file released on Friday. 

The file, consisting of three sections totaling 423 pages, was made available on the FBI's website and released in response to a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request.

Zinn taught in the political science department of Boston University for 24 years, from 1964 to 1988, and has been a major influence on the modern-day "progressive" movement that backed Barack Obama for president.

Although Zinn denied being a member of the CPUSA, the FBI file discloses that several reliable informants in the party identified Zinn as a member who attended party meetings as many as five times a week.

What's more, one of the files reveals that a reliable informant provided a photograph of Zinn teaching a class on "Basic Marxism" at party headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, in 1951. A participant in the class said that Zinn taught that "the basic teaching of Marx and Lenin were sound and should be adhered to by those present."


Bill Bigelow of the "Rethinking Schools" website said Zinn was "an activist-a socialist, a pacifist, an antiracist, who never strayed from his conviction that humanity was capable of making this a much better world."

That "much better world" turns out to be communism.
 

Read More Here and Here

H/T Weasel Zippers  

Friday, July 30, 2010

Let Me Get This Straight....

Weekend Rants
July 31, 2010


It seems the Federal Government sued the State of Arizona in order to make the following points:

1. The Executive Branch has reserved the power and right to decide NOT to enforce laws passed by the Legislative Branch ,and deemed Constitutional by the Judicial Branch, if it finds doing so to be politically troublesome.

2.  That the Executive Branch, having made a decision upon which laws are to be followed and which can be chucked for political purposes, can declare that since it won't uphold the laws it is Constitutionally-required to enforce, that no one else can assume that responsibility in it's stead.


Good going guys!

Once again the Administration, it's naked partisanship and political tin ear evident because it has taken yet another unnecessary action that two-thirds of the country disagrees with, has finally laid to rest some of the myths about the political left that have been repeated for at least a century; These people are not evil little conspirators, playing at romantic revolutionary. They are not sublimely intellectual souls who simply see the world differently in subtler shades of grey than we mortals. They certainly aren't champions of the Common Man, fighting for his rights and freedoms, rising to the defense of personal liberties.

They're just a bunch of self-serving political retards. Smart people (defined as: having just enough sense not to shave your own ass with a cheese grater, and a bottle of Witch Hazel) simply don't do things like this. The amazing thing is that they're all lawyers, the President has even taught Constitutional Law, (so they say) but apparently none of them has bothered to read the document in question, and if they have, they possess this ability to misunderstand the English Language to such an extent that I'm surprised they haven't "discovered" the right to stand in your front yard, completely naked, with three barking dachshunds and a light bulb jammed up your butt while saluting the swastika.

For all the Harvard, Yale and Princeton graduates in the Administration, none of them seems to be able to find their own asses with both hands and a flashlight. The next time someone tells you the Ivy League schools are the best, you should point out to them that the Obamabots and the MBA's who ran Freddie, Fannie, Lehman Brothers, and AIG, were mostly Ivy Leaguers.

That should shut em up.

........And  John Kerry. Got ya self a 7 Million dollar yacht sailboat do ya?
 Had her custom-built in New Zealand, and moved from Massachusetts to Rhode Island, allegedly to avoid paying luxury taxes on it. Hummm?

Nothing like making sure you Buy American,  making sure you put some folks in Massachusetts (where I'm told they DO make some pretty spiffy luxury yachts) to work, and leading by example in a time of financial crisis, where the American people are being asked to sacrifice and give Uncle Sam just a Little Bit More (Little Bit More defined as: the Lion's Share of the 50% of your income we don't already tax) to pay for all the"Change you Can Believe In"...and you don't even make a show of sharing that sacrifice. In fact, you tried to find a way to circumvent the law.  And I'll bet you still lay awake at night trying to figure out just how it was that you lost to that boob George W. Bush.  It seems your only real talent is for marrying wealthy widows. Frankly, we're incredibly fortunate to have been spared the unmitigated disaster that would have been a Kerry Administration, Senator.

I gotta go, the gumbo is almost ready!
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Monday, July 19, 2010

Google's Wi-Spying and Intelligence Ties.

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
July 19,2010



In 2005, the Bush administration pressured Google Inc. to help the National Intelligence Agencies by turning over search results of Google Earth and Google Maps, specifically the searches involving classified or sensitive U.S. installation worldwide, as well as views of possible terrorist targets of known interest inside the U.S. culled from interrogations and investigation by U.S. and foreign intelligence organizations. Google flatly refused, slammed the Bush Administration for civil liberties violations and sought court protection.
All of which makes this story just that much more weird.

From PR Newswire:
Citing new information about Google's classified government contracts and the Internet giant's admitted Wi-Spying activity, Consumer Watchdog today said it is more imperative than ever for the Energy and Commerce Committee to conduct hearings into possible privacy violations by Google.
"Based on today's Washington Post, it appears that Google holds classified U.S. government contracts to supply search and geospatial information to the U.S. government. In addition, White House records show that Google executives have been holding meetings with U.S. national security officials for undisclosed reasons. Finally, it also appears that Google's widely criticized efforts to collect wireless network data on American citizens were not inadvertent, contrary to the company's claims."
"This raises serious questions about whether Google has engaged in a reckless effort to amass private data without giving any thought to the possible misuse of that information, and whether it can be trusted to safeguard the information it collects from the prying eyes of the U.S. government."
It has also been widely reported that Google has been working in "partnership" with the National Security Agency, the very same government body that illegally intercepted the private communications of millions of Americans during the Bush administration. 


The 2006 the Google dudes, Sergey Brin and Larry Page, appeared many times on leftest blogs and on cable news shows claiming they would have no part in Bush's blatant violations of America's Civil liberties.  It's also an interesting fact that Brin and Page were both very large contributers to Obama's Presidential campaign in 2008. I guess like some on the left who can praise foreign dictators, turn their heads and ignore voter intimidation, the oppression of women and hypocritical actions of environmentalist, the Google dudes can also justify in their world the secret involvement in activities they publicly abhor, all the while playing footsie with a administration they support.
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Sunday, July 18, 2010

Atheists Using Hair Dryers to 'De-Baptize

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
July18, 2010


According to Euripides, it looks like the dogmatic atheist, Edwin Kagin, has discovered another way to be offensive, yet condescending toward religion and the religious in this country. Read more at Self Evident Truths.
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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Just Go Play With Your Balls and Get out of the Way!

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
July 13,2010


The present administration has more than shown it’s inability to co-ordinate any action in the face of a major disaster. For all of you arm chair second guessers who blamed George W. Bush for the slow federal response to Hurricane Katrina, now you can stand up and say you're sorry,  given the even more pitiful performance of the Obama Government concerning the Gulf Oil Spill. (We can’t hear you, can you say that a little louder?)


Local government and private citizens have done more down here on the Gulf Coast, and could have done a lot more, if they weren't prevented from trying by the Feds. Cleanup would have been more efficient had the Feds accepted all the offers of international help, and had not been beholden to the labor unions. Dispersants and certain other cleanup measures would have been in place, and doing useful work, if it wasn't for the Environmentalist’s influence on the levers of power, and OSHA dictating 20-minute work hours. BP would probably have been more forthcoming on the how's and why's of this spill, if the Justice Department hadn't been screaming “LAWSUIT!" for political purposes, and the Administration wasn't trying to shake them down before letting BP take care of it's primary responsibility: stopping the leak, and cleaning it up.

Yes, BP f**ked up, but the Federal Government f**ked up more, only faster, more-expensively, on a grander scale and in front of the video cameras. It's time for a booster shot of Federalism, and a new dose of State's Rights. When it becomes the job of the Federal Government to do everything, it manages to do nothing, only spectacularly and with ruinous expense. If we've learned anything after 9/11, Katrina and now this Oil Spill, it's that the federal government functions, more often then not, on about the same level as a retarded Irish Setter. Totally detached from the issues/problems of the people who pay for it, and so many competing bureaucracies involved in every aspect of our lives that meaningful and effective action on most subjects is next to impossible.

BP, more as a result of the Obama Administration's attempts to publicly punish the company in an effort to cover it's own ass, has sent the company to the brink of bankruptcy (this Administration is really good at that). Recent word on the street is that Exxon-Mobil is poised to scoop up what's left of BP, creating an even bigger, richer and less accountable corporate entity. 

It would have been better had someone reminded President Obama that the main thrust of "government action" should have been cleanup, preventing the destruction of beaches, shorelines and marshlands, protecting and helping American citizens, and he left BP to the task of actually stopping the leak. But that would have meant no Congressional Hearings, and no Golf, I guess. Instead, we got a lot of talk about "Relief Funds", lawsuits, and the Savior of the Universe being unable to suck the oil up with a straw.  

The election of Barack Obama at first appeared to be a sign that America was finally beyond race; Americans had finally elected a  black man to the highest office in the land. The future looked bleak in November of 2008.  In hindsight this now appears not to have been an exercise in fairness and equality, but an act of desperation. That desperation gave us a President who was thoroughly unprepared, lacking common sense or knowledge of how the government actually works, a background sufficiently muddled so that even he can't explain it, and who somehow managed to graduate Harvard with a degree in Constitutional Law without apparently ever having read that document. In office, President Obama seems more interested in playing golf and enjoying the perks of office, rather than in actually doing the job for which he was hired. When he actually does it, the results are about what you would expect from a four year old, with a hammer and a chainsaw.

And if I couldn't swing a golf club any better than he does, I'd take up painting.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Louisiana Fourth State to Opt Out of ObamaCare Abortion Funding.

Posted by Diogenes Sarcastica
June 7, 2010


Baton Rouge, La.  - Governor Bobby Jindal has made the state of Louisiana the fourth to opt out of some of the abortion funding found in the government-run health care law President Barack Obama signed. This morning, the Louisiana Senate passed its opt out bill on a 28-3 margin after the House approved it by a wide margin.

HB 1247, authored by Representative Frank Hoffman and carried on the Senate floor by Senator Gerald Long, passed in the Senate, adds Louisiana to the list of states opting out along with Arizona, Tennessee and Mississippi.


The law exempts the state from the abortion mandate in the recently-enacted federal health care reform law. Denise Burke, an attorney with Americans United for Life, explained what it does.
“Specifically, the new law prohibits health insurers participating in the state-run health insurance exchange (scheduled to go into effect in 2014) from offering plans or policies that cover abortions except in rare cases in which the mother’s life is in danger.”
LifeNews.com

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Joe Biden, Obamanomics and Gold Plated Turds.

Angry Cajun Rants
July 4th,2010


We're somehow supposed to believe the Enlightened Economic Policies of Barack Obama (you know, the ones the Europeans just pissed all over at the 'G20 Summit'?) are about to unleash a cornucopia of unrivaled economic prosperity on the American People. Little did they know when they sent Joe Biden out to bang the drum for it, he would wind up telling the truth in that Biden-esque way that could be the basis of a hit sitcom on NBC. The train's a-comin'. We can see the headlight. We can hear the rattle of the tracks. Just you wait. Any day now. Any day now...

So, here's Joe telling us that the Obamanauts "saved the banking system" and"stabilized the economy" with a Stimulus Bill in which 96% of the funds allocated (borrowed) haven't been spent, and the nationalization-in-all-but-name of the biggest banks, insurance firms, and auto manufacturers, and then...it happened.

It always happens with Joe.

There are four things you can count on in life; death, taxes, Charles Schumer knocking down somebody's grandmother in mad rush to nasally drone in front of a television camera, and the premise that, if you follow Joe Biden around long enough with any sort of recording device, you will, eventually, get the whole truth despite Joe's best efforts to continue The Lie. In fact, follow him around long enough and you'll get a litany of truths.


The first truth was contained in the words"...those jobs are never coming back", in reference to the 8 million jobs lost since the beginning of this financial crisis. This was an administration that said it would have to have a $787 billion "stimulus" (which has been mostly geared, thus far, towards fattening the bank accounts of narrow democratic party constituencies ahead of the 2010 and 2012 elections) if it was "to keep unemployment at 8%". Well, it got that "Stimulus" (the first bill that no one read, or was that TARP? It's all become a blur).....the unemployment rate is closer to 10%, (closer to 17% real unemployment) and the Obamabots are comfortable with the fact that many of them are gone forever, while maintaining the fantasy that there's another batch of jobs just around the corner.

You just have to believe in that Hopenchangin' magic, and poof! a Green job.

Well, there ain't no 8 million "Green Jobs" coming because Green Energy is a load of bullsh*t. Like the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, The Flying Dutchman, and the Perpetual Motion Machine, a Green Energy Economy is largely a myth. Spain is finding that out right now.  More conventional industries are now under assault, or in the government's crosshairs; Big Oil garnered the wrong sort of attention when BP poisoned the Gulf of Mexico. Wall Street is about to be slapped with a new round of regulations-which-are-really-taxes that will probably hasten the destruction of many of the weaker-but-salvageable firms. Obamacare (the second bill that no one read) will nationalize, unionize and cost-control the medical profession back into the middle ages of bloodletting and leaches.

All of those industries are about to get socked to pay for penile implants for illegal immigrants, paying the UAW to continue voting democrat, saving a variety of obscure wildlife that stands in the way of progress and prosperity, and funding every stupid-ass-pie-in-the-sky-program that can spring from the fevered imaginations of Obama and his crew.

The second truth was revealed, in of all places, a custard shop in Wisconsin.

Joe stopped in for a tasty frozen treat, and got into a bit of banter with the shop manager, who decided that the opportunity to make a political statement while Joe was trying to make his own (after all, the Vice President rubbing elbows with the peasants in front of cameras is supposed to be all about the administration, not the people. Showing him up is considerd bad form, you know). When asked "How much do I owe you?" for the frozen treats, the manager intimated that if perhaps the Vice President could convince the administration to lower taxes, the bill would be paid in full, Joe went into full menstrual fury mode.

As far as snits are concerned, this was a good one. Joe reminded me of an old girlfriend who always acquired the most disturbing personality traits whenever she was menstruating. There was the constipated visage; that intense look that could curdle milk, and perhaps separate oil and water, if it didn't set the oil aflame first. Then came the tightening, like a rope being wound around a windlass, complete with that noise -- the one that sounds like straining and cracking wood that is produced as fingers are balled into a fist and the knuckles strain the flesh of the hand. Finally, there was the eye-rolling-looking-down-my-nose-at-you-contempt, the utter disdain for all living things, especially those who had decided that RIGHT F**KING NOW was a good time to challenge a coiled rattlesnake.

Yep, Joe looked exactly like Denise whenever Aunt Flo came to visit.

"Why do you have to be a wise-ass?" asked the Vice President. Or words to that effect. And therein was the nugget of truth; Joe Biden doesn't have to take guff and back-talk from the peasants. How dare one of these people question the authority and actions of their betters? How is it that such a lower life form can imagine that he knows more about economic and taxation matters than a President who spent nearly a whole year in the Senate? It is not our (meaning we peasants) job to question, suggest, or to even remind Joe that he actually works for us, and that criticism comes with the job. No, our job is to meekly knuckle under, and follow the dictates of a class of snobs which does everything ass-backwards, and turns everything it touches into a pile of gold-plated turds -- when it does anything at all -- and to shut up about it.

Joe Biden gave you all the proof you ever needed that we are being "led" (mostly astray) by a group of snobbish elitist with little or no idea what they're doing, with extremely thin skin and no tolerance for debate. They call themselves "liberals", but there's very little of the liberal about them.
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