Showing posts with label Grunt of Monte Cristo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grunt of Monte Cristo. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Who Knew Chelsea Clinton Was Such a Prolific Writer

2 New Releases From Future New York Times Best Selling
Children's Author, Chelsea Clinton Mezvinsky

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Just in time for Father's Day, 
heart warming stories of Daddies and the fun and affection they can only share with their favorite girls.

Beautifully illustrated by the famed artist Gil Elvgren


Also new in publication, sure to be a Children's Tech-Horror Classic, ideal reading for those scary pajama party storytimes, or for election nights. 

Both titles are available for immediate shipment from Gruntington Post Publishing House, Gift Shop and Cigar Emporium.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Thursday, February 5, 2015

I Deny All Knowledge.....


It is known to regular readers of this blog that the Hilton Chain of hotels seem to have a personal vendetta against DMF and have blocked this website on their hotel public computers as recently discovered by regular reader Grunt of Monte Cristo. 

Now comes the news that the weasel of the Hilton Family, none other than little Conrad Hilton just got himself arrested for a brawl on a Trans-Atlantic British Airways flight. 

Now as someone who has spent a large part of their life in the air flying both commercial and private, Diogenes has made many good friends who work in the commercial aviation industry. 

These facts should not be construed in any way shape or form to imply Diogenes would stoop so low as to conspire, nor imply Diogenes has any knowledge of anyone on their behalf covertly slipping a Mikey in Mr. Hilton's drink, causing him to be “uncoordinated, delusional and paranoid” while erratic and yelling  “I will [expletive] fight you,” and “I am going to [expletive] kill you,” and “I will [expletive] own anyone on this flight; they are [expletive] peasants --resulting in him being securely duct taped to starboard wing for the duration of the flight.


I repeat, Diogenes denies all knowledge of any conspiracy involving tainting anyones drink on any flight anywhere in the world for the purpose of publicly humiliating someone of high stature for fun.  It's only a rumor...... 



 Images by Grunt of Monte Cristo


Friday, January 30, 2015

More Groups Demand Sacred Status for Their Prophets, Idols and Mascots

by Grunt of Monte Cristo

MFNS - The  Pew Research Center published poll results showing a surprising number of Americans take a anti-First Amendment stance regarding the recent Charlie Hebdo massacre in France.  Although a majority say it was acceptable for the French cartoonists to publish images of the Islamic prophet, nearly a third or all Americans, and 50% of all women, said it was “not okay.”

In the aftermath of these events, which show a shocking willingness among Americans to be buffaloed into limits on their own everyday behavior based on the demands of a pseudo-religious, mostly outlaw political system, a number of groups have come forward to demand that their own icons be treated with similar respect by all people, or possibly suffer consequences.  The following graphic illustrates six of the most prominent.


1. Ernesto “Che” Guevara: This petition was presented to President Obama by Raul Castro, who was a close friend of Che and a fellow revolutionary.  He points out, quite correctly, that Che is worshiped as a demigod in Cuba, and demands that “capitalist U.S. tee-shirt hawkers cease using Che’s sacred image on all products and send the profits to Cuba.”  He also asked that all images of Che be destroyed, reverently by burning, while sprinkling the flames with coca powder.  Obama has offered to help with this process, personally, if requested by anyone.

2. Neil deGrasse Tyson:  Ann Druyan, Carl Sagan’s final wife and the force behind the resurrected Cosmos TV series, has insisted that all images of Dr. Tyson be destroyed out of respect and recognition of the unique pinnacle of genius and heightened awareness achieved by NDT, even though he still occasionally works part-time in the Cal Tech Observatory Gift Shop to make ends meet.  Ms. Druyan is strangely okay with displays of the pagan images on Dr. Tyson’s vest, so feel free to continue using those images.

3. Cows:  That’s right; all cows.  Hindus the world over have declared that all cattle, being sacred to their religion, shall henceforth be protected from all disrespect.  That means that all cattle ranching must cease, milk ads must not use images of the sacred beasts, and leather goods will be banned.  They also point out, correctly, that theirs is an actual ancient religion, not something dreamed up by a mentally-disturbed, cradle-robbing caravan raider from the 7th-century.

4. Napoleon Bonaparte:  French Nationalists have been waiting for this moment for a long time.  They insist that the Emperor be recognized for the divine deliverer that he is, and that his images not be used to make him appear short or to confuse him with any of the other Napoleons of popular culture.

5. Michelle Obama’s Ass:  Fans of the Fabulous First Lady request that she continue to be given shameless over-exposure, all except for her large posterior.  They request that it be deleted from all photographs using Photo-Shop or Pixelmator or equivalent.

6. Denise Milani:   If you have to ask why this Sun-kissed, Aphrodite of Czech models shouldn't be given goddess status, then you must be a liberal.  Just ask Janicki.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

The Crown Jewel of Obama’s Middle East Policy Descends Into Chaos

by Grunt of  Monte Cristo
In the wake of the total surrender of the Yemeni government to Iran-allied Houthi rebels, the U.S. State Department has had only one profoundly unhelpful message: We don’t know what we’re doing, and neither do you, so refrain from speculating about it. This message was delivered to Washington reporters by seasoned State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki as the resignation of Yemeni President Abdu Rabbu Mansour Hadi (pictured) was unfolding and his home was being shelled.
As quoted by the New York Times:
“We’re not in a position — and I don’t think any of you are either — to assess what it means at this point in time.” 

Despite Jen’s terse instructions not to think about it, I’d wager there are many good conclusions that we can draw from the events in Yemen. One is the simple fact that this is a spectacular failure for the Obama White House and its policies in the Middle East. The other is the nature of the striking betrayal that happened in the final hours of the collapse. According to Sebastian Usher, BBC:
"The resignation of the Yemeni president and his government is likely to plunge an already unstable country into uncharted territory.
It comes just a day after a deal was announced between the president and the Houthi rebels that was meant to paper over the sharpest edges of the current crisis.
The rebels received the concessions they demanded. For their part, they were meant to withdraw from the presidential palace and from Mr Hadi’s own house, as well as releasing a presidential aide they abducted last week.
They have done none of this. Mr Hadi and his government say they cannot continue under such conditions. Yemen was already close to chaos – now it seems it has no president and no government..."
I’m not referring to the obvious betrayal of the Houthi rebels. Everyone knew they would not keep any agreements after they had gained the upper hand militarily. 
What I mean by betrayal is that Hadi’s government followed the recipe of appeasement that the U.S. State Department forced on them. Giving the rebels everything they wanted and then expecting them to back off was Obama’s strategy, and the Hadi government followed the script to perfection. Now they have paid for it with their utter destruction. 
My question is, who will hold the U.S. State Department accountable for this failure? The Yemeni government that they supported is now in no position to do so.
 CROSSPOSTED FROM The Blog of Monte Cristo

Saturday, November 22, 2014