Thursday, August 13, 2015

It's YOOOGH, Just YOOOGH I tell Ya...

Donald Trump’s online emporium for luxurious stuff that says you like TRUMP! on it is now open, and it’s got the YOOOGHEST selection of terrific stuff, just terrific, that any of the Donald's Lovers and haters can afford, even if you are not a TEN BILLIONAIRE. And unlike his special line of made-in-China Donald J. Trump apparel, this stuff is 100 percent made right here in the U.S. of A., though the site does not specify whether any of it has been made by undocumented immigrants.

First, the bad news. No official Megyn Kelly toilet paper as of yet. And you losers cannot buy a Trump piñata to beat to death with a stick, sorry.  

But, you can buy this adorable onesie for your little Trumpster fan, so long as you promise not to pull out your lady glands and feed it with your breastes, because as The Donald say's, that's “disgusting.”

And you want some hats? Trump’s got all the hats you might need, to protect your fabulous head of hair, in all kinds of colors, although of course you’ll want to get yours in Trumps favorite color gold, unless you are some kind of loser.

And what about an official Donald Trump  hoodie? Great for blending in and doing a little grassroots campaigning at the next political rally near you. 

You can get one in either men’s (perfect for the insecure guy to conceal your oversize large caliber cannons) or unisex sizes (for the ladies)! So many terrific options!

And don’t forget to pick up a couple sets of great license plate holders with Trump emblazoned at the top for your Rolls-Royce, Lamborghini, Mercedes, or whatever you drive when you’re not being limousined around.

And remember, if you’ve got words to say, say them the Trump way: LOUD. Real loud. With this luxurious megaphone, to make sure everyone can hear ya.

 h/t to Wonk