Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Swedes Cash In on Government Shutdown

MFNS - In a brilliant marketing campaign based on the current U.S.Government shutdown and refusal of Barack Obama and his lapdogs in congress to negotiate with republicans, Swedish furniture giant IKEA yesterday announced its newest fall line of assemble-it-yourself furniture: the Obama "2013 Empty Chair Series".

Greatly satisfied by the wildly successful 2008 "Embrace the Change" campaign featuring cheap Oval-Office style home furniture, the iconic Scandinavian furniture retailer announced that its "Obama Empty Chairs" would further increase revenue by using Clint Eastwood’s metaphor at the 2012 Republican National Convention about the empty-suited “not present” Obama.

At a recession-proof price of only $19.99, Ikea shoppers have their choice of 3 basic Obama "Tom Stools" ("tom stool" translates to "empty chair" in Swedish). Stained in red, white and blue, the three stools have already garnered thousands of online orders from U.S. taxpayers and from zipcodes as far away as Gaza City, Ramallah, Cairo and Benghazi.

In interviews with several Ikea shoppers at a suburban mall outside of Washington, DC and in College Park, Maryland, MFNS learned that most shoppers were opting to purchase the upgraded version of the Obama Empty Chair – the “Ihalig Stool” – which is not due to be released until November 7 and costs $10 more. The Ihalig Stool (which translates to "Hollow, Cavernous or Shallow Chair") is intended to remain permanently unassembled and left in its box; there are no screws or any other accompanying hardware which might enable the buyer to actually assemble the upgraded empty chair. 

Antique furniture expert, Dora Lamore of Langston Virginia, told us the new line of chairs are destined to become an instant collector's piece as soon as Obama gets impeached.