during the government shutdown.
....and Free Shipping Too!
"Are you a federal employee that has been deemed non-essential? Do you have a little too much time on your hands and nothing to do? Is the recent government shutdown to blame?
Here at Vibrators.com we are committed to allowing our customers to find satisfaction. As vibrator enthusiasts, we want everyone to experience the pleasure that a nice vibrator can bring to partners and individuals. Besides, we know you have some free time, why not try something new?"
We are giving away 200 free vibes per day for as long as the shutdown lasts. We apologize that we have to cap the offer, but any more than that and it will slow down our warehouse and prevent timely delivery of our paying customers.
We are canceling orders from greedy people. Order twice or order two different free gifts without making purchase and you will get nothing. Order one even though you are not a furloughed federal employee and we won't really know, but Karma will get you.
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Damn, I knew I should have taken that civil service exam.
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