Monday, September 9, 2013

Pentagon Grumblings Over Syrian Operation Name

MFNS
Washington - With congress dragging it's feet on a vote to approve the president's wishes to pound some vacant Syrian military installations, Generals in the high command are worried about the upcoming Operational Name, historically give to such military endeavors. 

Pentagon Officials have cautioned that further delays on Syrian intervention will seriously restrict the Pentagon's choice of military monikers. Unscrupulous patent trolls have already reserved the names and web addresses "Operation Syria Slap Down", "Operation Gettin some Ass-ad" and the Defense Dept's preferred name,"Operation Recover the Weapons We Sold em".

"We all know the problems associated with rushing to pick a name," explained a Pentagon spokesman. Any future use of  "Operation North West" has already been taken by Kanye West and Kim Kardashian" Planned Parenthood  has ambivalently objected to the use of the word  "Operation", " Syria" is named after a place and Jay-Z has said ‘no’ to anything ‘with a hyphen”.

Congress faces legalized extortion from patent trolls if US forces are to avoid going into battle under the copyright-free names. Even the word "Operation" may already be owned by toy manufacturer Hasbro Inc. 

"We've got to get rolling here" the Pentagon insist.




If precious time continuous to past, The Pentagon may be forced into employing mime artists to depict the conflict on news broadcast and in Pentagon press briefings. The only hope is that the Syrian campaign can somehow be effectively communicated by a man stuck in a box, drinking a cup of tea while grabbing a rope.