Wednesday, July 31, 2013

To America: A Letter from the Mainstream Media

Dear Mr.& Mrs. America,

We in the mainstream media complex would respectfully inform you that we will retreat from tradition and will not be doing our usual yearly whooping it up in celebration the anniversary of the final days of Watergate and the House Judiciary Committee's approval and sending to the whole House of Representatives three articles of impeachment against President Richard M. Nixon.

The reason we in the vaulted media are dialing back an episode that confirmed our place as the fourth estate and an indispensable player in governing this country is that some feel the charges the Democrats lodged against Richard Nixon are just too damn close to how our great leader (that we helped you choose thank you) President Barack Obama and his White House does business.

Democrats once charged the president with using his office to personally, and through his staff delay, impede and obstruct the investigation into wrong doing.  His staff were accused of giving false or misleading statements in congressional and judicial testimony and to investigators.

Democrats accused the presidents men of accessing private tax records from the IRS and directing the IRS to audit, investigate and otherwise harass political opponents.  Democrats accused the Nixon administration of using the electronic surveillance to spy on Americans without national security or law enforcement justification.

On four occasions, the Nixon White House failed to comply with subpoenas from the Judiciary Committee.
“In refusing to produce these papers and things Richard M. Nixon, substituting his judgment as to what materials were necessary for the inquiry, interposed the powers of the Presidency against the lawful subpoenas of the House of Representatives........"
We in the main stream media recognize enough similarities between the behavior of the Obama White House and what Democrats claimed in 1974 was so egregious that Nixon had to be removed from office.

But these are trying times in America and we should overlook simple things. Besides, he's our man, we help put him there, and despite the fact he picks on some of us from time to time (mostly those penis heads at Fox News) and listens in on our conversations, for the most part we agree with his progressive agenda. And he gives many more fabulous rides on Air Force One then either Bush or Clinton did. And takin' bout White House shindigs!

So all in all, this will give us much more time in coming days to bring you reports on trips to Martha's Vineyard, the wonderful free health care he has given to all Americans, an expanding economy and Kim Kardashian's spawn.

Somewhat Respectfully,

The Vintage Media Complex

We apologize for the commonly used English honorific for women (Mrs.) in the opening greeting to this letter. It is in no way, shape or form meant to degrade any women single by choice, unmarried women, widows, lesbians, a divorcée, spinster, feminist or anyone of the bovine persuasion.

inspired by an artical@CFP