Thursday, May 30, 2013

The 2012/2013 Nominees for Diogenes' Asshat of the Year

2011 Winner - Paul Krugman
Note:  There was no  Diogenes' Asshat of the Year award for 2012. Being a election year the field was way to wide to pick through a plethora of sleazy, lying, clueless, incompetent and corrupt candidates eligible for the title.

Another Note: I chose not to include Piers Morgan in my list as I thought it not proper to pick on such a clueless foreign dolt as Mr. Morgan. He is in a class of his own.

So without further ado, here are the nominees:

President Barack Obama: Odds on favorite and front runner. No surprise here. The “I didn’t know” community organizer in chief spoke to his Democratic liberal far left wing base, claiming there is no global war on Islamic terrorism and about closing the prison at Guantanamo Bay Cuba.  This ostrich-like, head in the sand, foreign policy speech that ignores radical Islamic fanatics was given to distract attention from the Benghazi cover-up; IRS targeting conservative and Tea Party non-profit groups; and the Department of Justice persecution of Associated Press (AP)/Fox News Channel scandals. We also spot him some points for Joe Biden.

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney: He received the coveted 4-Pinocchio award from The Washington Post (not a conservative newspaper) Fact Checker on many occasions for defending the presidential scandals indicated previously.  He obviously took to heart the part in the job description about becoming a professional weasel, and he's good at it. It is rumored that the maker of Viagra has inquired as to how Mr. Carney’s nose keeps getting longer each time.

Attorney General Eric Holder: A recluse who has discovered the words “I recused myself” (same as I didn’t know) when it comes to the AP/Fox News Channel scandal. Then why did the AG personally sign off on the search warrant of Fox News Channel reporter James Rosen’s emails? Let’s also not forget the Fast and Furious gun walking scandal.
Mr. Holder is one of the  crowning achievements of Affirmative Action.

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton: This politician who wants to be elected the first woman president in 2016 said “It was so long ago” referencing the September 11, 2012 date when the American Ambassador to Libya, an embassy staffer and two Special Forces operators were murdered.  Had the worst Secretary of State in history  broke a few lamps
here and there around the world  like she did as first lady, we wouldn't be worrying about racial Islam so much.

UN Ambassador Susan Rice: The fabricated talking points about the Benghazi Embassy Islamic terrorist attack she was given to espouse on the Sunday talk shows were a charade to hide the incompetent Obama administration’s failed Islamic terrorism policy. Her subsequent arrogance to the American people daring to question being fed a load of bullshit by the Obama administration was an act to behold. I see a future for her in soap operas.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid: Speaking from the US Senate floor he blamed a 2.4% funds sequestration for causing people to die of cancer, contract athletes foot, water turning to blood, frogs, lice, flies, livestock disease, incurable boils, hail and thunder, locusts, darkness and death of the first-born.

Senators Chuck Schumer, Al Franken and Carl Levin: This gaggle of three Senators (Snoop, clueless and Poop) wrote a letter to the IRS asking this agency to investigate non-profit tax exempt Americans for Prosperity (AFP), Tea Party groups, Republicans, Diogenes Middle Finger and other right of center groups. Non-profit progressive, liberal and left groups were conspicuously absent from their correspondence. Oops!

Ex Governor Mark Sanford: Oh my God (sorry ACLU), a Republican among all these liberal Democrats! The good news is that a US House seat in South Carolina didn’t go Democratic. The bad news is that Mark Sanford is sitting in it. However, Mark has one and a half years in Congress till November 2014 to redeem himself for committing adultery, just like former President Bill Clinton!

Ex Congressman Anthony Weiner: The former congressman, who resigned from his seat after being embroiled in an uncovered wiener related scandal two years ago, announced he’s entering the New York City (NYC) mayoral race. He also said there could be women coming forward with more emails and photos of my hot wiener, but I’m going to try to keep being focused on issues that are important to NYC.  A survey of 49% of NYC voters indicates he’s gone soft and shouldn’t run!

IRS Official Lois Lerner: Invoked the Fifth Amendment to the US Constitution (not incriminating oneself) at a US House committee hearing, but not before saying in a statement that she had not done anything wrong or broken any laws. Sorry lady, you’re big mouth may have just legally screwed yourself. She had signed IRS letters improperly targeting Tea Party groups in 2012 asking them to turn over everything from printouts of their Facebook pages to the credentials of speakers who participated in their events. However, US taxpayers also got screwed as she has been suspended with pay.

Sarah Hall Ingram: Served as commissioner of the IRS office responsible for tax-exempt organizations involved in the current IRS scandal (2009 to 2012). Ms. Ingram has since left that section of the IRS and is now the director of the IRS’s “Affordable Care Act” office. Bend over and smile.

Journalist or Reverend or something, Al Sharpton: Let’s have a prayer (sorry ACLU) for both true journalists and real clergymen as Al is neither, but tries to inflame any situation by inserting himself into a news story and then asserts everything is due to “racism.” Al ordered a wiener (not Weiner) and it was served without mustard, calling the dark skinned, counter woman a racist.  Al missed his calling as a ghetto used car salesman.
He's so good with words.