Saturday, May 4, 2013

A Middle Finger News Special Report:

The Empire Strikes Back:
Obama to Nationalize Liberal Print Media 
Following  a rumor circulating of  a proposed conservative buyout offer of one of the nation's most liberal news papers and misleading print media,  The Los Angeles Times,  President Obama has resorted to deceased socialist dictator Hugo Chavez’s playbook: Nationalize them!
The self described ‘most transparent regime in US History” met behind closed doors over 6 hours in what has been described by a MF News informants as ‘a closely guarded  strategy session.
According to the scenario put forth , Obama has been urged to take the extreme measures by close personal aide Valerie Jarrett, and Muslim Brotherhood unregistered lobbyist Huma Weiner, wife of former NY congressman,  ‘Rigid Digit’ Weiner. 
Testing the waters, Al Jazerra America, new owner of
 the Al Gore failed TV network “Current TV” leaked a portion of the startling coup in order to get the liberal staffers of print publications on board following their unofficial show of hands indicating their intent to quit if the papers were taken over by the consortium of Rupert Murdoch, the unconjoined Koch Brothers, and  Middle Finger News Chief  Editor , Rebus Cannebus,  AKA the ‘man with the world’s largest set of financial    cojones this side of Warren Buffett.
The President’s close advisors rushed him off the golf links and into the emergency session after it was revealed executives of the New York Times had awarded themselves enormous cash bonuses after hearing of the takeover and fearing for their financial and employment future, a move indicative they were getting ready to ‘bail out’ before the critical 2014 elections.
The Department of the Treasury in consort with the FED has set up a new ‘Yellow Fund”, so named after the type of journalism practiced by the targeted outlets, in order to compensate the owners of the papers, mostly rich and privileged democrats.
Working with the department of justice, AG Eric Holder’s bankruptcy lawyers are to first put the papers into Chapter 7 to insure that all debts would be wiped out, bond holders disenfranchised, and widows and orphans relying on the stock dividends to survive in the Obama economy would be reduced to queueing in line for the diminishing amount of EBT cards available to legal white citizens, food stamps and Obama phones in order to survive. The ploy follows that used by Obama to set up GM, Government Motors, to protect his union base of supporters.
Former editorial and opinion writers who had proven their loyalty to the regime would be retained and put on the government payroll which insured them they would have a gold plated pension plan, and be ‘exempt’ from ObamaCare and all the inherent taxes hidden in the law, and lest we forget, the 7′ stack of amendments tacked on by Redistribution Czar Catherine ‘the hun’ Sebelius.