Saturday, April 20, 2013

Boston Area Stoners Recount Harrowing 18 Hour Lockdown

Massive Law Enforcement Presence Interrupts Regular Bong Hits

BOSTON - As the country eagerly watched authorities go about the hunt for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev,  some Boston area residents were under a strict lock down for almost 18 hours. The harrowing experience was especially hard on the cities stoner community because of cabin fever/stir-craziness and the fear of police house to house searches.  Waterpipes, rolling papers and bongs neatly hid away and out of sight, left stoners disoriented and confused.

Water Town Stoner and MIT student Chas Mcgreedy said " With the cops doing door-to-door searches because of the exigent circumstances of a lunatic bomber on the loose we were in fear the door would be knocked down and in would come Dick Chenney  and we would all be water-boarded and tortured for information and the cops would confiscate our donuts and our 11th amendment rights be violated. Not being able to smoke a doobie for over 18 hours is just....like...it's...like stepping in peanut butter or something. We actually had to sit and watch television while being totally  straight. Like... we watched Jon Stewart and Dave Letterman and we didn't even laugh once man! 

Polly Ester Bing, Boston student and social activist told us the lock-down put a real damper on the excitement of planning the coming Earth Day celebration on Monday. "Like...terrified to fire up a joint all we could do was pretty much throw darts at our George Bush dart board..". She went on to tell us "one of my professors told my class not long ago our eyes were just to young to see that ....like....we are  living in a far right-wing psuedo-martial law society.  Like ...today I believe my eyes are all grown upThe man is a profit.

After the bomber suspect was taken into custody and the lock-down lifted, convenience stores in the Watertown area reported a massive run on Cheetos , Bean Dip and 2 liter bottles of Mountain Dew.