Sunday, November 18, 2012

News of Petraeus Affair Interrupted by Annoying, Irrelevant Report on Hamas Rocket Attacks on Israel


National Public Radio came under attack from various sections of the mainstream media Tuesday, after its scheduled coverage of the ongoing General David Petreaus affair was bizarrely interrupted by an in-depth report on the most recent and non-news-worthy attack on Te Aviv .

Insisting that NPR “ignored its duty to prioritize information that was very much in the public interest”, a spokesperson for CNN said that “it was extremely irresponsible of NPR to give violence in Israel such overwhelming attention at the expense of letting the American people know how one of our most decorated generals cheated on his wife of 38 years.”

“NPR really dropped the ball on this one,” continued the spokesperson. “What is news-journalism coming to when filler material about attacks on non-Americans is scheduled ahead of investigative reports into the life and background of Petraeus’ mistress, Paula Broadwell?”

“The American public have a right to know about these things.”

Airing a pointless 15-minute critique of the terrorist group Hamas , after only a cursory look into General Petraeus’ subsequent feelings of guilt and regret, National Public Radio “compromised 42 years of integrity”
, said ABC News Anchor Diane Sawyer

“Folks, this is what your tax dollars are being spent on: lazy, dumbed-down reporting that masquerades as news.” According to Sawyer, “The American people don't need to be bombarded with images of bombed buildings and city squares, or Israel's fatality statistics. Especially when we're just now getting word that FBI agents have entered Miss Broadwell’s home. You heard me right, folks: they have entered Miss Broadwell’s home again.”

Responding to the controversy, NPR officials drew further ire this afternoon when it was announced that crucial statements set to be given by Petraeus’ wife, Holly, Wednesday would follow an hour-long report into the “uninspiring and outdated” topic of climate change.

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