Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Sandy Forces Obama to Shift Lying to Other States

WashingtonHurricane Sandy has forced the Obama campaign to move its lying efforts from states in the path of the storm to others beyond the hurricanes reach.
Starting today, the President's campaign began reallocating lies originally intended for Virginia to other swing states such as Ohio and Wisconsin, the campaign confirmed today.

 “An emergency situation like this really tests how good your ground game is,” said Obama adviser David Axelrod. “Fortunately, we have liars in all fifty seven states.”

But even as the Obama campaign expressed outward confidence about its ability to maintain an uninterrupted flow of whoppers, some Democrats privately feared that a major power outage could disrupt its ability to lie, distort, and exaggerate in the crucial days ahead.

“If MSNBC or CNN gets knocked off the air in some of these states, we’re certainly going to be down a quart in terms of falsehoods,” one insider said.

But according to Vice-Presidential Joe Biden, who has been central to the campaign’s lying efforts, the severe weather is a challenge that “separates the men from the boys.”

 “They’re expecting winds of up to seventy miles per hour,”  Biden told reporters. “Fortunately, I can run eighty miles per hour.”