PETA Launches Jackass Campaign
The program was announced by PETA spokesperson Dharma Windsong in an emotional, sometimes acrimonious press conference. “This represents a confident new direction for PETA. We’ve long focused on getting everybody to go vegetarian. That hasn’t worked out too well, yet. Our new mission starts today, with encouraging everyone in the media to stop harming jackass's self-esteem by criticizing and disparaging the words and actions of Democrats.”
The presentation was briefly interrupted by CNN’s Soledad O’Brien announcing loudly she’d just learned Tofu enchiladas were the buffet main menu item. Ms. O’Brien stormed out muttering something about “I’ll get you Anderson Cooper.”
Once order was restored, PETA spokesperson Windsong urged the few remaining journalists to consider O’Brien’s tirade a "teachable moment" in future conversations.
“Many of you would likely return home after this work day and tell your life partners ‘Soledad acted like a complete jackass today, wouldn’t you? Such statements are unfair to jackasses. That is what we are trying to express in our great leap forward. When a human behaves badly, don’t compare them to a jackass. After all, mules had nothing to do with Ms. O'Brien frustration about our delicious meat-free buffet.
Ms. Windsong continued "Jackasses are especially withdrawn and upset at some conservative bloggers comedic use of the words and actions of the great statesman, Joe Biden, who has for years held the democrat's ass high with pride and integrity.
Clarified her organizations position on this pressing matter. “We can’t get everybody to go vegetarian until we stop the use of animal names as insults and criticizing politicians who stand proudly next to their parties symbol, the Ass. This comparison of bad human behavior with animals contributes to a perspective of animals as not quite human. We mean to stop it, starting with the jackass.”
The controversy is expected to continue, since now nobody knows what to call Alec Baldwin.
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As far as Alec Baldwin goes, I vote for horses ass.
ReplyDeleteGreat post and I love what you've done with the place. The humor is top notch.
Thank You, Odie.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you around here again!
In regard to Alec Baldwin, I would take it out of the realm of the animal world and just call him what he is and that is a plain old a$$hat. Every time I hear or see something about PETA I have a visceral response. I begin to salivate thinking of the taste of a thick cut Angus sirloin steak seasoned and grilled to perfection by the range cook over at Pinnacle Peak in San Dimas, CA. Okay, now I'm hungry. Later.
ReplyDeleteI'm with ya on that one,Robert!
ReplyDelete