Monday, August 29, 2011

Rick Perry is Honored by NYT Elitist Jerk.

The New York Times expert on just about everything and leading nominee for Diogenes' 2011 Asshat of the Year, Paul Krugman, has chosen to honor Governor Rick Perry by including him in one of his nutty left-wing NYT elitist attack jobs...... 

 "Mr. Perry, the governor of Texas, recently made headlines by dismissing evolution as “just a theory,” one that has “got some gaps in it” — an observation that will come as news to the vast majority of biologists. But what really got peoples’ attention was what he said about climate change: “I think there are a substantial number of scientists who have manipulated data so that they will have dollars rolling into their projects. And I think we are seeing almost weekly, or even daily, scientists are coming forward and questioning the original idea that man-made global warming is what is causing the climate to change.”
That’s a remarkable statement — or maybe the right adjective is “vile.”
". . . And the deepening anti-intellectualism of the political right, both within and beyond the G.O.P., extends far beyond the issue of climate change."
 "And the deepening anti-intellectualism of the political right, both within and beyond the G.O.P., extends far beyond the issue of climate change."
Read the entire Krugman tripe if you can @ NYT
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Sunday, August 28, 2011

Picture of the Week.

Joe Biden. The Gift That Keeps on Giving. 
 
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Friday, August 26, 2011

Finally, a Bright Spot in Obama's Economy

While makers of cars, computers, the retail sector and practically everything else saw their fortunes plunge last week, in a  rare bright spot in an otherwise gloomy period for Wall Street, manufacturers of downward arrows posted record profits this week.  
  
Producers of downward arrows notched double-digit gains, inspiring investors to snap up their shares like never before.  Companies like National Plunging Arrow Corp. and Consolidated Downward Pointy Lines saw their shares rocket as investors rushed to participate in the suddenly red-hot red-arrow sector.
 

“We are seeing investors move out of Treasuries and Gold and into downward-arrow stocks,” said analyst Farley Boomster, who covers plunging trend-line manufacturers for Morgan Stanley. “At a time when the world is facing extreme uncertainty, the one thing we know for sure is that going forward there will be strong demand for downward pointy things.”

But the euphoria surrounding the plunging arrow sector may be short-lived, as some analysts caution that that investors’ mania for downward arrow stocks may be a bubble, with others warning that downward arrows are increasingly being manufactured in China, where the arrows are mass-produced using far cheaper labor.
 
 
 For his part, though, Morgan Stanley’s  Boomster sees a silver lining in such gloomy forecasts: “Even if people wind up losing billions of dollars investing in downward arrows, you know what? There’s only one way to show that.”

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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Report: Queen Michelle has Spent $10m Taxpayer Dollars on Vacations Alone in the Past Year

Robbie Cooper's take on the Frequent Flyer First Lady over at UrbanGrounds.com 

 "So much for the shared sacrifice and all that other bull shit that has been pouring out of the mouth of King Barrack Slayer of Growth™.


"This is the same woman who thinks that Air Force 2 is Marine 2 as the family mini-van. The same woman who took a separate plan to Martha’s Vineyard for their family vacation, instead of hopping on the same plane that her husband was on. Because she wanted to get their 4 freak’n hours earlier than her hubby."

 $10m in luxury vacations in just one year by Michelle. And the year’s not even over yet."


Read the story here. 
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Sunday, August 21, 2011

S & P Downgrades MSNBC Host's IQ

Nominee for Diogenes' 2011 Asshat of the Year


In light of resent idiotic statements, Standard and Poor’s took the unprecedented action today of downgrading media personality Special Ed Schultz IQ. While the effects of such an extraordinary measure are hard to predict, experts say the IQ downgrade could result in Schultz having difficulty completing sentences, operating a television remote and excessive drooling.

 Ed and Edith Schultz 
Insiders at MSNBC, the unruly little bastard brother of the once respected NBC News, says Schlutz recent psychotic outbursts and rambling diatribes against anyone on the right is in some part his attempt to remain ahead of the networks newest ratings sensation, the always eloquent cultural pundit and International Geopolitical expert, Al Sharpton. At this writing, they seem to be in a heated race to the bottom of the cable ratings. 

Schultz's twin sister Edith Schultz Hayes, wife of Marvin Ashcott Hayes, the heir to the Tampon fortune told Diogenes the family all think Ed is "very special", but fear he may come unglued right there on the air. "Eddy and I grew up poor" she said, and that Ed was sometime forced to wear Edith's clothes. "That and eating his boogers kinda made Ed a little twisted, ya know."


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Friday, August 19, 2011

Let's Get Ready to Rumble - Rick Perry Edition

In a previous post 'Let's Get Ready to Rumble - 2012' 
I included the unannounced candidate, Gov. Rick Perry of Texas. As of that writing, he was said to be undecided. Well, last weekend Perry declared his candidacy and was, as expected, leaped on by weasels in the the media. Now we are swamped with critical articles about Perry and backward Texans, by people who knew very little about the state or its governor until a few days ago.

Having grown up in the Great State of Texas and now living in a neighboring state, I have observed Perry's career as Governor, as I did with the Arkansas Clown with the pants problem, Bill Clinton.
   
So, my friend Publius Minimus and I will now analyze the effectiveness of these media criticisms, and once we're  finished you shouldn't need to read any more articles about Perry (unless I write them, of course). 

CRITICISM:
PERRY IS A MORON  
Perry scored mediocre exam results (a D in Shakespeare, a D in economics, a C in American history) did not graduate FROM YALE OR HARVARD; a propensity for wearing cowboy boots; Texas accent; grew up on a farm.

*This strategy was used against Ronald Reagan (amiable dunce) and failed; Yale grad Bush, Jr. was also characterized as an imbecile, and served two terms. Why? Because labeling as fools politicians who embody (whether truthfully or not) the aspirations and ideals of vast swathes of the population alienates the very people “liberals” (20% of the electorate) most need to win over to their side. It’s pathological, not strategic. As governor of Texas, Perry has a strong economic record, and this, in most people's minds will be more important than some exams he took forty years ago; which leads us directly to… 

CRITICISM: 
THE TEXAS ECONOMIC MIRACLE IS A MYTH 
Perry's most powerful argument for his candidacy is Texas's record of job creation- 37% of all jobs created in the United States since June 2009 were created in the state. Perry argues this is a result of sound economic management, low taxes, minimal regulation, tort reform, etc. To which Democrats and media talking heads reply: Texas is just lucky, it has oil, the military, and most of those jobs are minimum wage anyway. Plus, you’ve still got high unemployment. 

*Iran is awash with oil and soldiers but it is not very successful economically. Obviously policies play a part, otherwise California, blessed with abundant natural wealth, beautiful weather and the 8th largest economy on the globe, would not be teetering on the verge of bankruptcy and experiencing a mass exodus of its population…into Texas. The comments about minimum wage jobs smack of an elitist disconnect from reality as these days just about any job is a toehold on the ladder up. Nor are they true: since the recession started, hourly wages in Texas have increased at the sixth fastest rate in the US. Texas unemployment is still high, but lower than the national average, and Obama is on very weak ground indeed when he talks about job creation. 


CRITICISM: 
PERRY IS A RELIGIOUS NUT/HATES ABORTION/GAYS, ETC.
Perry held a big prayer rally in Houston at the start of August – creepy! He talks about Jesus – what a nut! He’s against gay marriage…. probably hates Muslims, too.

*Perry’s religiousness and social conservatism is something he shares with many millions of Americans, so see the problem with Criticism #1 above. His stance on gay marriage is the same as Obama’s. I vaguely recall that Perry once received complaints from Buddhists who were upset when he said they won’t go to heaven when they die. Some reporters will have fun with that if they can be bothered to dig it up. At the end of the day, when one in five people in the country are on food stamps and the economy smells like a vast sinkhole filled with rotten fish, only ideologues care about these issues.

Thus, we're not persuaded that these early lines of attack will prove very effective against Perry, who has never lost an election. Unless the governor fails to adapt his Texan “screw you” style of campaigning to the national level, or is revealed as a cannibal, he will prove a strong candidate. 

The key thing to know about Rick Perry is that in Texas, nobody loves him very much, not even Republicans, and yet he always trounces his opponents. That translates to one thing; he has skill. 

...and unlike Barack Obama, he has a Brass Pair! 
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Educational Crash Course #35

Another Installment of Diogenes'
Public Service Educational Series: 

History of the World: Slightly Abridged


Next in Series: Career Advancement
with Keith Olbermann


CLASS DISMISSED!
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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Obama Says He'll Work on that Job Plan Thing When He Gets Back From Vacation…

"On his 938th day in office President Obama also said he would soon have a completed jobs plan. Maybe early fall, something like that. And he complained, "We could do even more if Congress is willing to get in the game."
L.A.Times
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Monday, August 15, 2011

The Smithsonian Inaugurates New WTF Wing

 The New
'OMGWTF Were We Thinking' 
Wing of the Smithsonian Museum

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Sunday, August 14, 2011

If Democrats Really Told the Truth.......

  
Just admit it, that's all I ask. Admit your ballot was cast for Barack Obama on November 4, 2008 so you could turn off your brain come January 20, 2009. You voted for him so future visits to the doctor wouldn't include the removing of your insurance card, driver's license and co-pay from your wallet and then presenting these items to the nurse/receptionist. You voted for Mr. Obama so you could walk into the office of any doctor and say, "ObamaCare".

Admit you attempt to shame people into believing this big bad world is too complex for conservatism. "Championing freedom and limited government isn't sufficient; we need complex solutions to complex problems," you say, hoping to force individuals to cheerfully give up their freedom for fear they'll otherwise be labeled stupid.  Admit you're so ignorant regarding money matters that you deem anyone suggesting you personally handle the investing of your salary "evil".
 
The Democrat Party is full of whiners who cry out, "Pass legislation that allows me to scratch health care from my list of complicated issues with which I must concern myself. Though I am able bodied, please make it possible for me live the life of a helpless invalid. Seriously, how about a bill that mandates the mailman actually place Netflix rental's in my DVD player."

Why can't liberals admit you just want to be average in every way? You want to spend a maximum of eight hours per weekday at work, then go home and watch mindless television until it's beddy-bye time. This is all you want out of life and freedom makes it impossible for you to proceed through such a vapid existence without worry. "Take away everyone's freedom to prosper so I have comfort in knowing my laziness will never land me in the poor house." 
 
You probably believe your big government solutions  to helping the masses are heroic, but how often do Herculean motion picture protagonists shout, "I will put down my weapons and wait for an elected official to get me out of this seemingly unsolvable circumstance!" 
 
Conservatives understand there will be differences of opinion, but we strenuously object to liberals fibbing for the express purpose of convincing the ignorant masses that they're not trying to control the entire population. You often hear President Obama and Vice President Biden claim to be proponents of freedom, yet, for the first time in her history, citizens of the United States will soon be forced to purchase a product.

They can't have it both ways.

Is anybody better off than they were two years ago? Can anybody imagine how bad things will be after two additional years with Obama at the reigns? He threw billions of dollars at a problem with a private sector solutions, on the verge of a debt fiasco. Instead of leading, he played golf and left the important decisions up to other people.  He is now in his 3rd year of office, and the W. excuse is running real thin. Now he is shifting the blame on the Tea Party, a group whose only sin is organizing, demonstrating, and demanding that the government stop running a deficit. To use a football analogy, Obama took a 6-10 Bush economy and turned it into a 2-14 team.
 
As President, Obama is about as popular as a Cowshit sandwich, and shows all the political skill of a deaf and blind amputee gearing up to play a piano concerto. He will need that same misinformed masses that came out for him 3 years ago to come out again, if he wants to keep his job.
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Thursday, August 11, 2011

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Let's Make it Amicable.

SEPARATION AGREEMENT

 Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950′s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:
–Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

–We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
–You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
–Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
–We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and bio diesel.
–You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

–We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
–You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, home boys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
–We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks.
–We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

–You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
–You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security. (NO WE WON’T)

–We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
–You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McLane. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

–We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
–You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors.
–We’ll continue to believe health care is a luxury and not a right.
–We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.”
–I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya” or “We Are the World”.

–We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

–Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Author Unknown 
 
HT/ Nunya - via IOTW 
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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Al Sharpton "The Dow is down 630%"

 I hereby nominate our math club president, Al Sharpton for the position of United States Secretary of the Treasury!



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Monday, August 8, 2011

This is all I'm going to say about it.

  Commentary 
By Matthew of The Lunatic's Asylum 
 
In the past I have chosen to remain silent, with only a few exceptions, about Islam in America, and specifically the controversy regarding the proposed mosque close to ground zero in New York. I wanted to do my research rather then just shooting off an uninformed opinion as many seem to have done. Having spent some time in N.Y. over the past few months, I looked indepth for myself.

The vaulted media have told me peaceful muslims are only trying to build mosques and go about their daily lives in peace, but find themselves discriminated against and unfairly singled out by the government because they're 'different'. The leftwing blogs cry Congressional hearings on American Muslims groups are  unfortunate examples of a rising tide of fear that lead to intolerance and inequality. 
Bullshit!
 *climbs on soapbox*
I'm sorry,  I can not  not agree with the sappy leftist point of view who continue to imply that the suspicion and anger generated by Islamic terrorism is somehow unwarranted, and that innocent people of the "Religion of Peace" are being discriminated against.

Are there specific reasons why certain muslim groups should be given this level of scrutiny, and indeed, engender this sort of paranoia?   

Let's take a look, shall we.  

I think you will find it wasn't Hindus who rammed hijacked airliners into the World Trade Center and Pentagon.  Buddhists are not currently lobbing unguided rockets and mortar shells into Israeli residential neighborhoods while simultaneously calling for genocide as a precursor to 'Peace'.  Shintos aren't boarding buses or walking into crowded marketplaces with explosives strapped to their bodies, to detonate amidst scores or hundreds of innocents, shouting 'Allah u Akbar!" just before they detonate.

You will not find Presbyterians throwing acid in little girls' faces because they want to go to school, or mutilating their daughter's clitorises against their will and I'm certain there aren't many Catholics out there kidnapping journalists and then beheading them on the Internet. I rather doubt Lutherans are going about planting IED's, which kill and maim indiscriminately.  How many Muslims believe that Christians and Jews currently living inside Muslim nations have any human rights whatsoever, if, indeed, Jews are to be considered human at all. 

When it comes to Muslims building mosques, they seem to have a penchant for being both quite selective about where they build them, and quite obnoxious about it, too.  If you've ever read any history, you'll soon discover that Muslims have a nasty habit of building their mosques on the holy ground of their defeated enemies; the Hagia Sofia, the Dome of the Rock, the Alhambra, just to mention a few. You can look it up. The idea is to not only declare the victory and glory of Allah, but to also signal to the defeated that their culture is also being destroyed. It's as 'in your face' as it's possible to get. 

     
The Ground Zero mosque is no different. Building a mosque at that site is more or less allowing Islam to build a victory monument. Less well-known are the several attempts to build mosques on Staten Island, in which Muslim groups have insisted on purchasing property which belongs to other faiths, despite the fact that there's empty real estate laying all over the place. The original plan to build a new mosque in a former Catholic school/Convent was defeated by community pressure, but Muslims simply moved up the road and bought property which was once a Hindu temple. 

I believe in Religious Freedom for all, I do not believe terrorism and intimidation has any part in religion or freedom!   As for the Congressional hearings, the U.S. Constitution was never intended to be a suicide pact and common sense must reign sometimes, even if doing so skirts the edges of Constitutional principles. 

I have read their "Holy Book"  and seen their hate filled signs as they protest against and threaten the very European cultures that welcomed them with open arms. So far as I'm concerned, they've played their hand and showed their cards. Until Muslims are routinely turning in their crazy uncles, sons and imams before they explode, I will continue to view them as an enemy inside the gates and deserve all the scrutiny they get.

Edited by Diogenes Sarcastica 
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Excuses Excuses Excuses.......


Headlines Culled from Weasel Zippers

Dem Rep. James Clyburn: "S&P Downgraded U.S. Because They Want To Look Better In Europe…"

DNC Chief Wasserman Schultz Blames "Tea Party Tyrants" For U.S. Credit Rating Downgrade…"

Tim Geithner: Obama’s Policies Absolutely Not” Responsible For S&P Downgrade…

Bawney Fwank Blames Military For S&P Downgrade…

ABC’s Cokie Roberts On S&P Downgrade: “The Problem Here Is The Constitution Of The United States Of America”…

Top Obama Adviser David Axelrod Calls S&P’s Credit Rating Cut “A Tea Party Downgrade”…

John Kerry (D-Gold Digger) Takes Just Enough Time Off From Spending His Wife’s Millions To Blame "Irresponsible, Reckless And Absolutist” GOP For S&P Downgrade…

......and from everyone's favorite idiot leftist windbag comes this.....

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As the stock market dives and confidence of the American people in the Obama administration's  policies continue to drop due to lack of leadership, all we get is excuses! The only thing they haven't blamed is racism.......oh wait....here comes  Dem Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee.  
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For Immediate Release....

via Mr. Pinko@ IOTW
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